Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
