she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
