discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
