You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
