shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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