I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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