How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
