I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
