therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
