Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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