is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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