I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
