how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
