by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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