i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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