I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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