Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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