i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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