if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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