i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
