Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize