I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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