well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
