i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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