I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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