Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
