i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he was CRYING into my vagina
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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