I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
