No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
