omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
