We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
