Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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