now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
