Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
