Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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