jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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