brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
