it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize