physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
