I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
