Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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