im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
