He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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