Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
