Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
