i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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