Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
