Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
