I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
