Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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