so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he shaved USA in his pubs
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
