omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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