Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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