I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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