I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
