dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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