Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
