U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize