fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
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I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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