my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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