Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
