I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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