part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize