but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am naked and annoyed.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
