? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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