If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
