he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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