he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
