i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
