How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
