Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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